Hardik Pandya vs Deadpool
One swings a bat. One swings a katana. Both swing moods like a ping-pong paddle. Welcome to the only battle where style, sass, and sarcastic punches matter more than the actual winner.
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Hardik Pandya thanking God |
Chapter 1: The Portal of Misfortune (and Instagram Reels)
It started when Hardik Pandya posted a shirtless gym selfie captioned: "Getting ready for the next blast."
Somewhere in the Marvel universe, Deadpool scrolled past it.
"Who the hell is this guy trying to steal my thunder... and my abs? Alexa, set course to India. We’re going cricketing."
And thus, the multiverse cracked open like a fresh coconut in a Caribbean beach ad.
Chapter 2: Meet the Men
Hardik Pandya: IPL superstar, India’s all-rounder, man who bowls fast and lives faster. Known for:
Diamond-studded watches
Helicopter entries into press conferences
And a follow-through that could break TikTok
Deadpool: AKA Wade Wilson. Merc with a Mouth. Known for:
Talking more than Arnab Goswami on Red Bull
Regenerating like your friend's Wi-Fi signal
Slicing bullets in mid-air while cracking your mom jokes
Chapter 3: The Coin Toss of Carnage
Venue: Wankhede Stadium. Crowd: 35,000 humans + 12 confused Avengers.
Deadpool: *"Do I bat, bowl, or break someone's Instagram login?" Hardik: *"Let’s toss. Heads I win, tails you lose."
Tails.
Deadpool: "That math checks out. Carry on."
Chapter 4: Over 1 – Pandya Bowling to Deadpool
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Deadpool waiting for Hardik Pandya |
Hardik steams in with his gold chain bouncing.
Deadpool stands like he’s posing for a Tinder profile pic. First ball: Yorker.
Deadpool attempts a reverse-split-scoop. Hits the umpire.
Umpire: "That’s it. I’m switching to badminton."
Second ball: Bouncer. Deadpool pulls out a gun. Shoots the ball.
Hardik: *"Bro this ain’t Gully Boy, it’s Gully Cricket!"
Chapter 5: Over 2 – Deadpool's Turn to Bowl
Action replay:
Ball #1: Explodes mid-air
Ball #2: Is actually a chimichanga
Ball #3: Hardik hits a six. It lands in Wakanda.
Deadpool: *"Okay. This guy hits harder than Thanos."
He stops bowling. Says he's switching to fielding. Then shows up as third umpire.
Chapter 6: Instagram Stories Go Wild
Within 30 minutes:
#DeadpoolVsPandya trends globally
Elon Musk tweets: "Can we stream this on Mars?"
Bumrah shares a meme: Hardik with a glowing bat, Deadpool doing bhangra in red
Chapter 7: The Philosophy of Swag
Hardik: *"Swag is not what you wear, it's how you play." Deadpool: *"Swag is knowing when to shut up and still not doing it."
They high-five. The universe briefly resets.
Chapter 8: The Final Ball
Score: Tie. One ball left. Hardik faces. Deadpool bowls a bouncer. Hardik uppercuts it to the moon.
Literally. Moon Base NASA confirms impact.
Deadpool: *"Okay, he wins. But I’ll regenerate and challenge him next IPL."
Hardik: *"I’ll be waiting. Just don’t bring Wolverine."
Epilogue: Mutual Respect (and Merch Deals)
They launch a brand together: "SwagXChimichanga" Merch includes:
Bat-shaped katanas
Bulletproof jerseys
A scent called "Powerplay & Sarcasm"
Bonus: Product Reviews from Their Gear
1. Deadpool-Edition Cricket Gloves
Designed to catch bullets and cricket balls. Smells like tacos.
Rating: 5/5
2. Hardik's Signature Chain
Also functions as a mini bowling speed tracker.
Rating: 4.9/5
3. Explosive Bouncers by Chimichanga Co.
Warning: Not legal in ICC tournaments.
Rating: BOOM/5